CHAPTER IV.

IN THE STREET.

IN no country are women so highly respected, or treated so courteously as in America. A lady can travel anywhere, without an escort, and hear no disrespectful language, or sneers, and she can feel assured that, should an emergency arise, she would be accorded the amplest protection.

PRIVILEGES OF WOMEN.

Women do not know how great are their privileges. Abroad a lady would not find it safe or proper to walk out alone. Here two or three ladies may, if they so desire, attend places of amusement, ride in the cars, or promenade unaccompanied by a gentleman. This fact amazes strangers from other lands. It arises from two causes – the natural inborn chivalry of American gentlemen, and the independent, unaffected natures of American women.

YOUNG GIRLS.

It is understood, however, that very young girls are never seen anywhere without some older person as an escort. Too great freedom engenders a coarse, loud manner which is distasteful.

There is no place where one's manners are more plainly discernible, or where the natural selfishness inherent in all will exhibit itself more conspicuously, than on the street or in crowded places. And one is apt to be judged very harshly sometimes by their deportment on the public promenade.

A LADY S DRESS.

A true lady always dresses simply and quietly when in street costume. She does not adopt gay and showy colors and load herself down with jewelry, which is entirely out of place, and conveys a very great anxiety to "show off." Custom sanctions more brilliant colors in dress goods than formerly, but they should be selected with modifications for outdoor wear. Quiet, subdued shades give an air of refinement, and never subject their wearer to unfavorable criticisms.

French ladies, who are noted for their exquisite taste in matters of dress, always have everything harmonize – the dress, hat, wrap, gloves, and even their shoes all match in color, forming a complete unison which is very agreeable to the eye.

A lady should always walk in an easy, unassuming ' manner, neither looking to the right or to the left. If anything in a. store window attracts her notice she can stop and examine it with propriety, and then resume her walk. She never should hear a rude remark, or see an impertinent glance, but should be incapable of appearing to think it possible that they could be intended for her.

GIGGLING DETESTABLE.

A lady who desires a reputation for elegant manners does not giggle or whisper in a meaning way on the cars or in theaters or lecture rooms. She reserves all those disagreeable fashions for a more private place. Neither do ladies commence to laugh as soon as the door has closed upon a retiring guest. They may be laughing about something entirely foreign to the present, but it is not in human nature to help imagining the laugh is aimed at the one who has just left the circle, and they will feel uncomfortable in consequence. Remain perfectly quiet until you are sure your friend is out of hearing, ere you resume your conversation.

Loud talking is inexcusable at all times, and gives a very vulgar tone to what you say. A lady does not call to her friends across the street, or inquire after their health in a -boisterous fashion.

NEVER FLIRT.

No lady ever fiirts on the street, or allows a stranger to make her acquaintance. She may consider it only a bit of "fun," but she will surely not win the respect of that stranger, and also lose her own.

If a lady is on her way to fulfill an engagement, and meets a friend, she can, after the first greetings, excuse herself from a long talk, by stating the fan, and offer a polite regret that she cannot remain longer.

D0 NOT "CUT'' ANY ONE.

Never "cut" people in public. If there are reasons why you desire to discontinue an acquaintance, either turn your head before meeting that person, or convey to him in some delicate hint, your feelings. But do not expose any one to the mortification of a cold, rude stare, or refuse to return the salutation made before the eyes of others.

In bowing on the street, a lady must merely incline her head gracefully, and not her body. But she should always smile,pleasantly. It lights up the features, and adds a refreshing warmth to the greeting.

On meeting her friends in public, a lady does not effusively greet them by their first names, and air her own affairs in a loud, high key, acquainting pass-ers-by with matters that concern her alone.

She should not stare at other ladies, and whisper and laugh in a pointed manner, or comment upon their personal appearance.

She should never permit one of the opposite sex to address her in a slangy fashion, touch her on the shoulder, call her by her first name before strangers. All such little familiarities, although intended innocently enough, will give others the impression that she is not held in the highest esteem.

We are happy to say that young ladies are very courteous to elderly ones as a rule, giving them up their seats, and answering their questions with gentle politeness. This is as it should be, and reflects credit upon any young person of either sex.

ACCEPTING ATTENTIONS.

A lady may accept the assistance of a strange gentleman in getting on or off a car, or in crossing a muddy or crowded street. Such attentions should be accepted in the spirit in which they are offered, and acknowledged with thanks.

In passing people on the walk, turn to the right. Do not join forces with three or four others, and take up the entire pathway, compelling every one to turn out for you. Walk in couples, when there are several friends in your party.

Ladies do not chew gum on the streets, or rush up to each other and kiss effusively.

Nor do they hold up the peculiarities of absent friends to ridicule, or discuss them uncharitably. Gossip and slander are very near friends. Never indulge in either.

POLITENESS TO CLERKS.

When a lady goes shopping, she treats the attendants of either sex with politeness. Often these clerks are tired, and overworked, and a lady does not take it as a personal affront because.they do not know intuitively just what she wants.

Do not seize hold of a piece of goods which another customer is examining, but wait until she has either made her purchase or passed it by.

BUY WHAT YOU NEED ONLY.

Never be persuaded into buying an article which does not suit both your taste and your purse. Make your wants known plainly, and if you cannot be suited, thank the salesman for having endeavored to please you. Remember, he has myriads of demands upon his time and patience, and a polite word lightens the tediousness of their positions.

If you meet a, friend while shopping, do not visit with them, while the saleswoman is awaiting your orders. You have no right to take up their time, and keep them from waiting upon other customers.

If you do not fancy the goods shown you, do not depreciate them to the one serving you, but merely say in an agreeable manner, "It is not just what I want," and pass on.-

Do not handle the goods yourself, except to feel their texture or weight, but allow the salesman to place them to the best advantage for showing their good qualities to you. If you cannot decide at once between several pieces of goods, say so, and give the salesman permission to attend to some other customer, while you are making up your mind.

WHAT A GENTLEMAN SHOULD DO.

A gentleman never swaggers along the street, shouting and laughing with his companions, his hat on one side, a cigar between his fingers, or switching a cane to the danger or discomfort of passers-by.

But if he is smoking and passes a lady quite near, he removes the cigar from his mouth.

A gentleman when walking with a lady in the daytime, does not offer her his arm, unless she is old, or ill, or he does so for the purpose of protecting her in a large crowd.

He should not monopolize the umbrella when with two ladies in a rain-storm, but should take the outside, holding it over both.

OFFERING THE ARM.

If attending a lady in the evening, it is customary to offer her the arm. If he has the care of two ladies, he should give his arm to but one, and they should both walk on the same side of him. It is a very amusing sight to see a gentleman walking between two ladies, a sort of a thorn-between-two-roses affair.

A gentleman removes his hat when entering a room where there are ladies. When he meets a lady friend, he should raise his hat gracefully, and if she is with another lady, he should include her in the salutation even though he is unacquainted with her.

WHISTLING IN PUBLIC.

On entering a, public hallway, or an elevator, where ladies are waiting, he does not treat them to an exhibition of his skill in whistling. It is exceedingly impertinent, and is a virtual ignoring of their presence which no gentleman is ever guilty of.

In passing through a door, the gentleman holds it open for the lady, even though he never saw her before. He also precedes the lady in ascending stairs, and allows her to precede him in descending.

When a gentleman meets a lady friend with whom he wishes to converse, he does not make her stand in the street, but walks with her a short distance until he has said what he desired to, and then leaves her with a courteous bow.

ANSWERING STRANGERS.

Whenever a question is asked by a stranger, he freely answers it. If he cannot direct such an one, he states his inability to do so, with civility.

No gentleman will stare rudely at ladies, or make slighting remarks concerning them.

REMOVING THE GLOVE.

It is not obligatory upon a gentleman to remove his glove when shaking hands with a lady. If he chooses, he can say "Excuse my glove," or he can observe a silence concerning it.

He should always carry the packages which a lady has; and in this connection permit us to say, that a husband should always carry the baby.

SMOKING WHEN IN A LADY'S SOCIETY.

A gentleman should never smoke while walking with a lady, not even if she politely fibs by saying it is not offensive to her. In fact, he should not smoke where ladies are, under any circumstances.

If a gentleman escorts a lady to her home, and is not going into the house, he should wait until the door is opened, and he sees her safely inside, especially fter dark.

He should never "cut" a lady. He can have no possible excuse for thus treating one who dressed and acted like a lady. If he is actuated by a foolish dislike, he can avoid her, but he must never cease to be courteous.

SWEET BREATHS.

Both ladies and gentlemen will be very careful to keep their breaths sweet and pure. We wish there were some law to prevent people from polluting their breaths with onions and tobacco when they are going into a mixed company. No one has a right to make himself in any manner offensive to others. All the laws of good breeding forbid it.

In crossing a muddy street, the gentleman should give a lady the cleanest spots, and may assist a strange lady to cross if she is in need of such help.

A gentleman should not thrust his feet out into a car aisle, or crook his elbows so as to strike his neighbor in the side, or expectorate at random. Nor should he spread open his paper to its full size, and exclude the light and view from others.

ASSIST LADIES FROM A CARRIAGE.

In assisting a lady to alight from a carriage, he should step out first, and then turn and offer her both hands, particularly if the vehicle be some distance from the ground.

He should pass up the fare of a lady in a car or bus, and should get off the steps of a car when it is crowded, to permit her to enter it. He should never push his way in, and leave her standing upon the platform.

HELPING A LADY TO MOUNT A HORSE,

It is quite an art to help a lady to mount horseback. She should place her left foot in one of his hands, with her left hand upon his shoulder, and her right hand on the pommel of the saddle. Then at a given word, she springs up, the gentleman at the same time raising his hand so that he assists her into the saddle. In riding, he should always keep on her right side.

Don't shake a, lady's hand so violently as to annoy her, nor press it with such force that you will hurt her fingers.

A gentleman should not inquire into any one's business, nor presume upon a chance introduction he has had, to walk with her when he meets her again, or to call at her house.

PHYSICAL TRAINING.

A gentleman should pay great regard to physical training. The more manly arts he masters, such as rowing, boxing, swimming, skating, etc., the greater will be his development, and the more graceful will he become. It will add to his strength, and better fit him to defend himself against insult, and to protect women from ungentlemanly conduct upon the part of others. To these accomplishments he should add dancing, which lends a grace and ease of manner that is pleasing in all society. It teaches him how to avoid beaing awkward in his attitudes.

When a gentleman makes an engagement, he should be punctual in keeping it, whether of a business nature, or simply pleasure.

OFFERING A SEAT TO A LADY.

It has long been a moot question whether it is the duty of a gentleman to rise in a street-car and offer his seat to a lady. While it may be asserted that a man is weary after a hard day's work in office or store, and again, that many ladies take such courtesies in an unthankful spirit, or as if it were their just due, still we think that the essence of genuine civility will lead a gentleman to rise and offer his seat to a lady who is standing.

We think Lord Chesterfield, "the most elegant gentleman in all Europe," has summed it up in a few concise words, when he declared that, "Civility is particularly due to all women; and remember that no provocation whatever can justify any man in not being civil to every woman; and the greatest man would justly be reckoned a brute if he were not civil to the meanest woman.. It is due to their sex, and is the only protection they have against the superior strength of ours." To which we would add, that no gentleman will speak a word against any woman at any time, or mention a woman's name in any company where it should not be spoken.

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