Youth's Educator For Home And Society

CHAPTER III.

A FEW WORDS TO THE CHILDREN – SELF-APPROBATION NATURAL.

EVERY right-minded boy or girl is anxious to be well thought of. The first step toward the attainment of this desire, is to cultivate courtesy. Be deferent to those who are your superiors in age and position. "Young America" has the idea that it is a proof of independence and manliness to speak flippantly and sneeringly of parents or guardians, referring to them as "the governor," "the old lady," or "the old party." There is no greater mistake made, and the listeners who may smile at your "wit" will just as surely censure you in their hearts for your coarseness and disrespect. The boy who permits himself to adopt this style of address cannot become a gentleman. The young person who does not respect himself, will not respect his elders.

Do not imitate the vices of men, imagining that it will make you a man also. Smoking and chewing are deadly foes to the healthful growth. Do not use tobacco. There is something unwholesome about a boy of twelve or fourteen who uses tobacco in any form. He loses his manliness and vigor, his sense of right and wrong becomes perverted, and his ambition leaves him. Never touch tobacco or liquors, if you desire to be a clean, manly man.

" We cannot all be heroes And thrill a hemisphere With some great daring venture, Some deed that mocks at fear; But we can fill a lifetime With kindly acts and true, There's always noble service For noble souls to do.

"We cannot all be preachers, And sway with voice and pen, As strong winds sway the forest, The minds and hearts of men; Rut we can be evangels To souls within our reach, There's always love's own gospel For loving hearts to preach."

NOT ALL CAN BECOME FAMOUS.

It is not given to all children to become famous. But it is in the power of every boy and girl to be truthful, honest, outspoken, and fearless; to hate a lie, and to check every evil thought. It is easy to be a real lady or gentleman. Practice politeness – make it the rule of your everyday life, at home, at school, or on the play-ground.

The big boy can see that the little one is not imposed upon. The big girl can take the part of another girl whose home surroundings are not so pleasant as her own.

Never sneer at any one who is deformed or lame, or whose clothes are shabby.

Care for your dumb pets in a kind way, feeding them, and sheltering them. Neither torment them yourselves, nor allow others to.

In play, be fair. Do not cheat. This may be a hard lesson to learn, but it is one of the grandest, to understand that you must accord perfect justice to others in your transactions with them. It will serve you well in after life.

Do not rush into the house like a whirlwind, forgetting to cleanse your feet upon the mat. Shut doors quietly. There are people whose nerves are so sensitive that doors slammed to, will almost make them ill.

Don't entertain your parents at the table with complaints of your brothers and sisters.

Obey readily, even though you can't see why you should or should not.

BE COURTEOUS TO ALL.

Speak pleasantly to your playmates. Never present yourself at table, with soiled face and hands, or uncombed hair. Do not interrupt conversation. It is delightful to hear a bright, sensible boy or girl talk, but they should wait until they are addressed, and tell what interests them in a simple manner, without affectation, or feeling that they are heroes.

Boys, do not tease your sisters, or try to dictate to them. A manly boy protects his sisters, and looks after their comfort.

Do not stare at people, nor turn and look after them in the street. If you observe a peculiar looking, or lame person approaching, appear not to notice them; pass them without a glance, and make no comment until they are out of hearing.

BE ORDERLY.

Have certain places for your clothes, your toys, tools, and books, and when you are done using them, put them in their place. Cultivate this habit, and you will grow into neat, orderly ladies and gentlemen, the pride of your mothers, and will be welcome in every home which you visit.

DO NOT MEDDLE.

Never meddle with other people's property. As a rule, it is very offensive to have one's cherished articles handled indiscriminately. Many boys seize things which are shown them in a rough manner, and pull them to pieces. Their fond parents excuse this destructive tendency as the act of an "inquiring mind," that "must know the ins and outs of everything," but we would prefer a boy to be a little less inquisitive, and a little more of a gentleman.

Girls, much of the advice given to the boys, is applicable to you.

Be neat and cleanly, both in mind and body. Take scrupulous care of your teeth and finger nails. Your clothes may not be of the richest material, but if they are made neatly and are kept in perfect repair, that is all that is necessary.

Your every-day toilet is part of your character. A girl that looks like a "fury" or "sloven" in the morning, is not to b trusted, however finely she may look in the evening. No matter how humble your room may be, there are eight things it should contain, namely: A mirror, washstand, soap, towel, comb, hair, nail and tooth brushes. These are just as essential as your breakfast, before which you should make good use of them. Parents who fail to provide their children with such appliances, not only make a great mistake, but commit a sin of omission. Look tidy in the morning, and after dinner work is over, improve your toilet. Make it a rule of your daily life to "dress up" for the afternoon. Your dress may, or need not, be anything better than calico; but with a ribbon or flower, or some bit of ornament, you can have an air of selfrespect and satisfaction that invariably comes with being well-dressed. A girl with fine sensibilities cannot help feeling embarrassed and awkward in a ragged and dirty dress, with her hair unkempt, should a neighbor come in. Moreover, your self-respect should demand the decent appareling of your body. You should make it a point to look as well as you can, even if you know nobody will see you but yourself.

Be frank, easy and cordial in your manners. Do not fear to show that you have a heart. Do not hesitate to say a kind word to this one, or perform a trifling act of courtesy for that one, for fear you may be thought "queer;" give a cheery word to the aged one whose journey is almost over. Speak the timely word to the sad-faced man or woman whose loneliness your well-meant effort will cheer.

Do not be afraid to let the sunshine of your happy souls flow out and permeate all you meet. Be cheerful, frank, natural; and give royally of the rich treasures of your generous souls, and blessings shall follow you.

HABITS TO AVOID.

It is very rude to ask direct questions, such as "Where are you going.'" "What have you got in that package?" In fact, do not show curiosity about other people's affairs.

Do not look over another's shoulder, when they are reading, nor read their letters, even if they are left carelessly lying around. You have no right to pry into the business of any one.

Many children form habits which are not nice, such as spitting on the floor, scratching the head, stretching themselves out upon a chair, yawning, etc. All such habits are exceedingly low-bred, and are avoided

by the child who aims to acquire good manners.

TRAINING OF CHILDREN.

Every child should receive some training which will fit it for some useful occupation in life. Riches are transitory, and laziness is the parent of many sins. If you are never compelled to earn your own living, such training will discipline and develop a self-reliance and energy. As a writer pertinently says, on this point:

"Men like Franklin, and Lincoln, and Grant, and women like Harriet Martineau and Harriet Beecher Stowe, and scores of others who have left their imprint on their nation or their age, were disciplined and developed by labor. Would you see the strong and honored men and women of to-morrow? They can be found in the field and factory and office of to-day, gaining that patience and toughness of mental and physical fiber which does noble deeds and conquers success. Labor is not only a duty, it is a necessity of our nature, and in the end it ministers to our spiritual growth. Let no parent, then, encourage a child to look forward to a life of idleness. Life is a school, and he who lives an idle life misses its most valuable lesson."

A question often comes up, not so easily answered, – What shall I do with my hands? Some ladies always carry a fan. But you cannot always have one in your hands, so it is better to practice keeping the arms pressed lightly against the sides in walking or sitting. This position for the hands, although a little stiff at first, will soon become easy and graceful.

It is almost impossible for a girl to learn the value of time. If you have occasion to enter a place of business, state what you want and then retire as quickly as possible. You have no right to encroach upon the time of a man of business.

USE MONEY SENSIBLY.

When your parents give you money, or you earn it for yourself, learn to spend it judiciously. Keep your accounts accurately. Bookkeeping is a very important part of a woman's education. The women of high rank in England are careful accountants and keep a strict account of all their expenditures. French women are taught the most rigid economy. It is well to provide against future needs, and to have a balance that you may bestow in charity.

And above all, do not affect a "loud" or "fast" demeanor. Guard well your fair name. The first duty which every young person owes to himself or herself, is to establish a good character. This is easy. With the instructions that every inmate of a good home receives, with the aid of kindly counsel and pure example, and an innate love for things that are good, it is impossible that you should not build up a character that shall be as impregnable as the rock of Gibraltar.

Every boy and girl desires a good name. Then earn it, by truthful lips and heart, by scorning deceit or base actions, by living upright, fearless lives, which are proudly open to the inspection of all the world.

In youth the foundation is laid for good or evil name. While there are many cases on record where bad boys and girls have outgrown their ill-flavored deeds and become good men and women, still the weight of testimony proves such cases rare. The beautiful seeds that blossom into grand deeds are planted in early youth. As a young person grows up, so will he generally be found when mingling with the active duties of real life.

You owe the winning of a good name to yourselves, and to the parents and friends whose peace of mind is to be made perfect, or rudely crushed, by your conduct. Then strive for a good name; cherish it carefully, and remember that immortal text, "A good name is rather to be chosen than much riches."