Youth's Educator For Home And Society

CHAPTER XXVI.

HOME COURTESIES.

COURTESY is enjoined in Holy Writ. The Apostle Peter says in his exhortation to wives and husbands, "Be ye courteous." This is rightly considered a Christian virtue, and will flourish in rich profusion when planted in faith.

Nowhere does this flower blossom as richly as in the home garden. Here, the sweet and tender ministrations of life are born, which flow out into the world, to bless others. The memories of early years are the dearest. They are never forgotten; the instructions given there are never effaced. These teachings have more in them than mere set formalities – they glow with life and warmth, for do they not recall the dear faces of father and mother, brothers and sisters, ere the home circle was broken; before care and sickness and separation came.

Those days were the preparatory ones, when the character was being fitted for the struggle of life.

CHOOSING COMPANIONS.

The choice of companions has a far-reaching influence upon the young. Were parents more careful in knowing who were admitted to association with their children, it would. not be so difficult a task to inculcate those courteous manners which all love to witness. The friends young people should select, should have moral worth, rather than position in society. Their courteous conduct toward others, is of the greatest consequence.

Children are all imitative. Few are found who strike out an original path far themselves. So the model they pattern after should be a good one. If parents realized how great was their responsibility, how closely they were watched and copied, they would place a perpetual guard upon their lips and manners, that nothing unlovely could be reproduced in the home life.

BE COURTEOUS TO ALL.

Courtesy is incumbent upon all. A truly polite mistress will find no trouble in having good servants, for she will remember that they are human, and not stone, with feelings and rights that should be respected. It is a coarse nature that is rude and overbearing to those whom fortune has placed beneath one. The bad effects will be apparent in another direction, for the insolent mistress will have insolent servants. Courteous treatment, and a proper regard for their comfort, will win their regard and more faithful services.

UNIFORM COURTESY.

Where courtesy prevails at home, the young will be polite naturally, and they will preserve this good-breeding wherever they are. Children must never be allowed to have two sets of manners, one for home use and the other for company. Demand uniform courtesy – at their play, and at their studies; at home and abroad.

Courtesy should begin at home, like charity, but neither should end there. In the face of the mad rush and bustle of our daily lives, we, as a nation, are courteous. Even Dickens, who scored us so unmercifully in his "American Notes," says of us: "But no man sat down until the ladies were seated; or omitted any little act of politeness which could contribute to their comfort. Nor did I ever once, on any occasion, anywhere, during my rambles in America, see a woman exposed to the slightest act of rudeness, incivility, or even inattention." This indorsement makes one feel proud. And a courtesy so general as to win words like these, can only spring from the fact that courtesy and good feeling are grounded in the home teachings, which have instilled a spirit of chivalrous respect which is an honor to any nation.

PRACTICE AT HOME.

And yet it is sad to be compelled to say that there are families all over our land who neglect to teach the small, sweet courtesies of every day to those beneath their roof. Who allow them to talk boisterously, romp all over the house at unseemly hours, shout to each other, and commit a dozen such breaches of etiquette merely because they are at home, and no company is there. Should friends call unexpectedly, what a transformation. The young voices are subdued, the step is light and soft, and quiet manners take the place of the rough and noisy exhibitions of a few minutes previous. This is not being polite – it is only a sham. They can be taught to exercise gentle manners at home; to be thoughtful of the comfort of every member of the family; to be guilty of no act that they would blush for were other eyes upon them. Then they will become the real gentleman or lady.

Courtesy must spring from an unselfish desire to do right. There is a beautiful myth floating on the topmost wave of the pretty fancies with which the world is blessed, which reads thus: Two children, a sturdy boy and a gentle girl, are wandering in playful idleness through an old garden, overgrown with weeds and rank grass. The boy finds a bunch of keys – the talismanic number, three, and of a curious old pattern, rusted and worn.

They look with indifference upon the keys, but having few toys, they keep them. Days pass by – the keys are forgotten, till one day they find an old door set in a wall, over which the weeping-willow hangs, hiding the framework with its heavy foliage, as if weary of its trust, and anxious to give it up. The boy and girl, still playmates, search patiently for a way to open the door; and at last, finding the keyhole thick with cobwebs, they tear them eagerly away, and push the key into the lock. The door creaks slowly, their strength is scarcely sufficient to force it to turn on its rusty hinges, but they persevere, and at last they step through, into a land so fair, a scene so lovely, that they hold their very breaths with delight.

The door in the neglected garden is the crust of selfishess which has over grown the hearts of the old and sorrow-weary. The keys are the rusty and unused ones of love, patience and truth. Love that seeks the good of all; patience, that "overcometh evil," and tenderly, earnestly, strives to do all the work set before it; truth, that speaks no ill, keeps the tongue clean, the heart single. To these three keys it is given to unlock the sealed mysteries and beauties of the heart which the world has buried 'neath its rubbish.

This habit of being courteous cannot be learned by arbitrary rules, but must be the outgrowth of home practice. To one who is agreeable, civil, kind, it will be very easy to be so elsewhere. A coarse, rough manner at home begets a kindred roughness which cannot be laid off, when among strangers. Home is the school for all things good, especially' for good manners.