CHAPTER XXI.
THE BOYS AND GIRLS AT HOME.
THE boys and girls are the pride of the happy homes, as well as the hope of our nation. The young people of America are the favored of the world. Here every youth is invited to as proud a place as he can attain to by force of mental powers. There is no limit to his opportunities. The humblest, by energy and application, may become the greatest; poverty may lose itself in the golden luster of wealth; obscurity may blossom into fame; the newsboy may become a hero; the tailor's apprentice a President.
Intellect, principle and character are the foundation stones of greatness. Nature bestows the first of these, but the last two are molded by yourselves; and without them, intellect, although it dazzles like the sun at noonday, will not achieve lasting success or renown.
From the beginning of life to the present hour the long pathway is strewn with the wrecks of men and women who, but for want of principles, might have enshrined their memories in the hearts of their fellow-creatures. Our land is full of the dark disfiguring shadows cast by the records of brilliant men whose unprincipled lives have saddened all who watched their careers. They start out from the list of the pure and true like black clouds and are mute but eloquent warnings to the young against neglecting the formation of character.
Every boy and girl must be taught that it is character that determine- their usefulness. It is a rock on which to build, feeling. sure that the fabric can never be shaken. When temptation comes, it finds all vulnerable, just in proportion to the strength of character possessed.
Character does not mean reputation. Many have fair reputations, and yet are destitute of character – that firm and abiding principle which gives them power and strength to judge between right and wrong, and to act according to its decisions.
So many court the "bubble, reputation," with no care to build up a character, so that they stand well in the eyes of the world, that it is no wonder that their downfall is often speedy and sudden.
Boys and girls are too apt to forget how much they are indebted to their parents for all that helps to brighten their lives. They take the good things that fall to their share, as if they were their unquestioned right, and never ask how much of toil and sorrow are involved on the part of the parents. To a certain degree it is their duty to provide many things – a comfortable home, an education, and moral instruction. But most kind parents go far beyond the fulfillment of those duties in their anxiety to do all they can for the children of their love.
Such parents subject themselves to hard and constant labor (or if not actual labor to perpetual anxiety) that they may accumulate something for their boys and girls. There is scarce a father who when asked why he makes life such a continual grind, but will answer, "I want to have my children provided for – I don't want them to have as hard a time as I have."
It is a generous motive, but it is unjust to themselves and to the children. Unjust to themselves as it deprives them of the chance for rest and mental culture. They become mere machines, losing all taste for social enjoyments, and unfitting themselves for companions to the ones for whom they are striving. The injustice to the boys and girls lies in the fact that, finding a fortune laid by ready for them, they seldom care to acquire those stern habits of industry, self-reliance and thrift necessary to pilot them through the world. Thus a twofold evil is wrought, and the home, business life and the State, are equally losers.
Boys and girls should be liberally provided with those. home pleasures which make it a place to love to be. And among them ranks music first. We never met one who did not appreciate musical sounds, from the little babe whose eyes turn so swiftly to the uncomprehended sounds, to the feeble old man, whose ears are growing dim.
To some, the word music conveys the idea of an expensive instrument, and a fine performer to bring out the tones of that instrument. These are agreeable to have, but many homes where these cannot be obtained, can have the music of blended voices and sweet harmony.
Home is the spot where music is the expression of the purest emotions, for it is within every heart.
The trees, rustling perpetually, breathe music. The birds are Nature's songsters. Dreams of a fairer world are filled with celestial harmony. And in the home sweet songs should have their part in strengthening its ties, and drawing nearer those who dwell therein.
There are many lessons which the young girl must take home to herself, ere she is prepared to go into soriety. One of the commonest faults is that freedom of manner which passes for friendliness. Earl Dufferin once, when making an address to the young ladies of a school at Quebec, gently reproved them for using pet names in public. The subject might have been pursued further, for there exists too great freedom of manner between the young people of to-day. A young lady should frown down any young man who addresses her with that air of coarse familiarity which some assume. They mistake freedom of speech for frankness; familiarity for ease of manner; and adopt the habit of calling their lady friends by their Christian names, before strangers, which is undignified and ill-bred,
Primness or prudishness are distasteful, and arouse antagonism. But there is a gentle dignity, a serenity of manner which implies a warm and gentle nature, which does not conflict with friendly mirth and enjoyment.
The young girl who unites these genial qualities with refinement – who is mirth-loving, dignified and affable; who, while she has a large circle of ardent friends of either sex, does not expose herself to the faintest approach to rudeness, and whose principles are fixed, her heart tender and true, and her manners gentle, is indeed, in truth and in spirit, a real lady!
Don't talk slang. There are girls, and just as many boys, who think they must have a stock of slang phrases at hand to embellish conversation with, or else they will be deemed lacking in worldly knowledge. If that is really your idea, it would not be a bad plan to write out all the popular phrases of the day, and keep your brothers at hand to lay them in between the pauses, as you would make sandwiches. It would save the listener the shock of hearing them from your lips, although, as we said, slang is not as elegant from their lips as plain, straightforward language.
These phrases have usually been coined by uncultivated persons, or have been random utterances, applicable to some occurrence entirely foreign to the common use of the saying.
How unsuited to all conceptions of womanly character to hear such repulsive words frown the sweet and delicate lips of a young girl. It is a shock to the finer feelings of a young man, no matter if he is a trifle given to that style of speech himself, and his respect for womanly delicacy is immeasurably lowered. He has been told that girls are modest, retiring, and artless. How does he reconcile this with the answer some timid appearing little Miss may give to some question – "Not for Joe!" or "I can't see it!" or to hear her declare to some other fairy-like creature, alluding to some one who has offended her, that she "will go for him!"
Slang imparts a flippant, impertinent air, which is never the mark of a true lady, and she cannot pass current in society as such.
Be as witty, cheerful, light-hearted as you can. Say all the funny things which come into your mind, so they are simply uttered. But wherever you are, no matter how strong the temptation, abjure slang phrases.
Boys, be equally careful to discard coarseness and profanity. A boy's language should be chosen with a view to correct speaking, and clearness. Rough phrases are the outgrowth of a rough nature, and will stamp those who utter them as low and debased. The contact a boy has with rough companions makes him careless and thoughtless, but it is his duty to guard his tongue, vigilantly. Show respect to your elders; avoid rough and boisterous intimates, and attach yourselves to your homes. Be as jolly as you please. It is healthful to have a merry boy or girl in the home, ready to laugh at anything ludicrous, and able to create sport for the rest. There are enough to reflect the sad side of life, or its irritable side, or its sober side. There should be some to awaken the mirth that often trembles just below the surface of painful experiences. A real, impetuous laugh dissipates the darkness, and brings genuine daylight. But the fun must be sincere – the laugh no dry, halfhearted one. It should be spontaneous, irresistible, infectious. Such laughs are catching, for it is hard not to be joyous when we see others so, who are in earnest about it.
If the boys and girls prize their homes as they should, they will value the priceless opportunities afforded them of becoming useful and renowned. May they study the causes of failure of those who have preceded them, and shun them as they love their own good names, and hope for an honored future.
Be true, honest, faithful and industrious. Live so that the world will need you, and the parents who love you will be proud of your success.
|
Your Comments Welcomed!
Copyright © 1996 Electronic Historical Publications