Youth's Educator For Home And Society

CHAPTER XIII.

IN THE DINING-ROOM.

FROM earliest times the pleasures of the table have been enjoyed, and dining has been fashionable. Although no account is given of it, we have no doubt that Adam and Eve ate their dinners with zest.

WHAT HOUR TO DINE.

The hour of dining varies with the people, the middle and working classes adopting the midday hour for the most substantial and elaborate meals of the day. Others dine later in the day. Whether this is as healthy an hour as the earlier one, we are not prepared to discuss; but if the hour for retiring is about eleven P.M., we see no objection to the seven o'clock dinner.

TABLE MANNERS.--CHANGE.

The manners pertaining to the table have changed greatly, since we are told that although cooking had reached a high state of development, among the ancient Egyptians, still they had not arrived at the dignity of having separate dishes from which to eat, but all the guests sat round a table, and dipped their bread into a dish in the center.

It is interesting and instructive to note the various customs of other lands. The ancient Greeks reclined at their meals; the use of spoons and knives was quite limited, while forks were unknown. The Spartans disdained the pleasures of the table, confining themselves to black bread and broth, a violent contrast to the dining-hall of Nero, the ceiling of which was inlaid with ivory, which slid back, and a rain of fragrant waters, or rose leaves was showered on the heads of the carousers. The appointments of a Hin-doo's table are simple, being the large leaves of the banana, which are used in lieu of plates. Their fingers supply the absence of knives. and forks, while rice, curry, ghee, eggs, milk, fish and fruits furnish all the food they care for.

COOKS IN ESTEEM.

Cooks have, in all ages of the world, been held in high honor, and the nation which has furnished some of the best, is also noted for their frugality in managing the culinary department of the household. It is said that a family in France live well upon what many an American family wastes.

Some of the most famous men have been epicures. It is related of the orator Hortensius that he had a large fish pond in which he bred fish for his table, and if one of them chanced to die, he shed tears. The Romans bred oysters and snails, to gratify their fastidious appetites, and during that corrupt period, there was a rage for rare and costly food. One of the emperors served a dish of the tongues of 1,500 flamingoes, while peacocks' tongues were esteemed a rare dish.

THE DINNER PARTY A FACTOR IN CIVILIZATION.

Were the dinner party abolished, how much would be lost to civilization. How many great plans have been discussed, how many friendships have been formed, and how many bright sayings and sparkling thoughts have had their birth in the fostering influence of the dinner table?

The great Talleyrand declared the dinner the best meal for transacting business. Campaigns have been mapped out, alliances between nations cemented through these sociable gatherings of society.

THE CHEERFUL. HOME DINNER.

The home dinner should be a most cheerful meeting of companionable and sprightly members, all interested in each other's welfare, all ready to contribute their quota to the general fund of enjoyment. The dining-room should be made as bright and sunny as possible. The mistress of the house may be troubled about many things, but she should wear her pleasantest smiles at the table, that her husband and children may be refreshed in spirit as well as body. The conversation should be bright and cheery; the children can be taught very young many lessons of etiquette that will serve them well in after years. These lessons will be an education to them in mind and manners.

FORMAL DINNERS.

The more formal dinners given by those who love to entertain should be made as elegant as possible. The first step is to study those simple customs whose observance makes them charming. The finest dressed man may be a boor at the table. Every dinner should be made as good as possible, and this does not imply a great outlay of money, but the expenditure of taste and time. If a hostess practices method in her everyday dinners, if she has each one neatly prepared and well-cooked, the giving of a larger and more ceremonious dinner will not cause her any more anxiety – only an extra amount of time to prepare it, and the choice of a greater variety of dishes.

THE DINING-ROOM SHOULD BE CHEERFUL.

The dining-room should be one of the best-lighted and most cheerful apartments in the house. Size is another requisite. Bric-a-brac, scarfs and much drapery are superfluous, as they are sadly in the way, if your guests are many. A few pictures on the wall, a sideboard with 'its sparkling glass and silverware, and a lounge and chairs are all that are necessary, as furnishings.

HAVE A GOOD TABLE.

The table should be firm and solid, and not so shaky that the guests fear some catastrophe. Cane-seat chairs should never be used in the dining-room. They catch beads and fringes and play sad havoc with them. The perforated wood ones are equally bad. The brass-headed nails with which they are fastened, catch worse than the cane, and many a delicate fabric has been ruined by them. Chairs upholstered with leather are the nicest, but oak chairs with high backs are deservedly popular.

THE DISHES SHOULD SHINE.

The table should be set with dishes that shine. When china or glass has the least roughness to the touch, it is an indication that it has not been washed clean. The table linen at dinner should be snowy white, and smoothly ironed. There are some very beautiful effects in cream, or white with colored borders, that may be used in the place of white, if the taste inclines to them. A cloth of cotton flannel or baize should be laid under the table-cloth, to serve as a protection from the heat of the dishes, as also to prevent that noisy clatter which is so disagreeable.

Glass water-bottles (carafes) with dishes of cracked ice, should be within reach of every guest.

NAPKIN RINGS NOT USED.

Napkin rings should never be used, save in the strict privacy of home; for it is an open secret that the use of a napkin ring suggests the repetition of the use of the napkin – a practice highly improper with our guests.

FLORAL DECORATIONS.

Flowers are a great addition to the beauty of a table, and where they can be had, are as suitable for the family table as the more formal one. In the latter they are indispensable.

The dishes may be fewer at the home dinner. Let the guest who is invited to your home, feel that you are not making an extra effort in his behalf, a knowledge which will make a guest feel uncomfortable. On the contrary, let them see that you are dispensing your everyday hospitality, and that they are heartily welcome. As an eminent authority on housekeeping says:

"Let no one suppose that, because she lives in a small house and dines on homely fare, the general principles here laid down do not apply to her. A small house is more easily kept clean than a palace. Taste may be quite as well displayed in the arrangement of dishes on a pine table, as in grouping the silver and china of the rich. Skill in cooking is as readily shown in a baked potato or johnny-cake as in a can-vas-back duck. The charm of good housekeeping lies in a nice attention to little things, not in a superabundance,"

SELECTION OF GUESTS.

Much tact is necessary in choosing the guests for an informal dinner. It is so difficult to invite or rather select those whom you know will harmonize. As the intercourse is free, and social, "only agreeable elements should be brought together. The important dishes are put on the table, and the hostess can dish out the soup and the host can carve. A French roll should be folded in each napkin. If there is only one servant to wait on the guests, she should be carefully trained beforehand, so that no awkward mistakes will be made. The plates should be hot, as any dinner is spoiled if hot meat is put on a cold plate, and the servant should have a napkin around her thumb, as even simple dinners are marred by any lack of neatness. Before serving the dessert the table should be cleared of everything but the fruit and flowers, and the crumbs brushed onto a tray with a brush or crumb-scraper – the latter is the best, because usually the neatest. The plates, knives, spoons and forks, may then be laid at each plate for dessert. The dinner should not last more than an hour."

COURSES FOR A SMALL PARTY.

A dinner for a few friends can consist of the following courses: First, soup, then fish, a roast, with two kinds of vegetables, and lastly salad, cheese, and a dessert of pie and pudding. Apples and nuts may be brought on, also. A dinner of these materials, well cooked and served up with neatness and promptness, is ample for a lady or gentleman of moderate means to give. It is not elaborate dishes that please most, but the simple hospitality and unaffected heartiness of the host and hostess, that give zest to the food set before the guests.

The glass-ware should be sparkling; the dishes polished to the highest degree. Unless they are carefully washed and rinsed they will have a sticky feeling which makes a fastidious person feel uncomfortable. A well-set table is appetizing. It is a truth 'that the eye should be gratified as well as the palate.

DO NOT KEEP YOUR HOSTESS WAITING.

Promptness at the dinner table is one of the first essentials. No member of a family and no guests has a right to keep others waiting. Particular pains should be taken that the dress is suited to the occasion. Even though a gentleman may not possess a dress-coat, still he can make some change in his apparel, in honor of the affair, such as changing his necktie or freshening his linen.

SERVING THE FOOD.

The meal can be all placed upon the table at once before the family, is seated, or, where there is a servant, she should bring in the courses in their order. The English style is a very good one. All the dishes of a course are brought in at once, and those which are to be carved are removed to a side-table, where a servant performs that duty.

CARVING.

If the carving is to be done at the table, the host must attend to it himself. He should be prepared with a sharp knife and strong fork. The steel should be banished from the table; it is supposed that he did all the sharpening before dinner was ready, and it certainly is not productive of much pleasure to sit patiently waiting to be served, while the host is whetting his knife. He should always sit while carving. He also indicates who is to receive the First plate. The person receiving it should keep it, and pass the plates on as they are designated. When one is to help himself, from a dish, he should do so before offering it to a neighbor.

HOW TO USE A NAPKIN.

Lay your napkin across your lap, instead of tucking it in your neck. At a formal dinner do not fold your napkin when through with it, but leave it lying loosely beside your plate, Napkins should never be starched. It is an idea which most likely originated in hotels where the waiters are very fond of twisting them into fantastic shapes. Napkins can be obtained which are very beautiful. It is said that Queen Elizabeth sent to Flanders for lace with which to have hers edged.

USE OF THE KNIFE.

Cut your food with your knife, but convey it to your mouth with the fork. But do not overload this little implement, but merely take as much upon it as you can hold with grace. The fork held in the right hand should be used for eating salads, cheese, pastry and all made dishes.

EATING FRUIT.

It is quite the thing to eat oranges, melons, etc., with a spoon. The aide of the spoon should be used in carrying soup to the mouth. But beware, lest you make that disagreeable sound in eating soup, which is not only offensive to the ear, but is a positive rudeness.

In eating grapes, cherries, and fruits with pits, do not eject them from the mouth, but remove them to the side of the plate with the hand.

FINGERS CAN BE USED.

There are many vegetables and fruits which are eaten, in which the fingers play an important part. Among them is the artichoke, which is taken with the fingers, as is also celery invariably. Asparagus is taken in the fingers, unless it is covered with sauce.

Hard cheese is broken with the fingers. Nearly all other vegetables are eaten with the fork.

HOW TO EAT GREEN CORN.

Green corn is a problem, some eating it from the cob, others calling it barbarous. We think it is the proper way, however; and we are borne out by the usages of good society.

Croquettes, patties, etc., are eaten with a fork.

THE SPOON.

We eat strawberries with a spoon, but in Europe, where they are much less lavish with them, they are passed around on the stem, and each berry is dipped into sugar as it is eaten.

A spoon is used in eating Roman punch. Ices are sometimes eaten with a fork, but usually with a spoon.

In eating lettuce, the knife and fork must both be used if the leaf is large, but the folk must be used to convey it to the mouth. A piece of bread may be used in gathering the lettuce onto the fork.

With salad, bread, butter and cheese are served, and a salad knife and fork are important. It is in bad form to cut up salad very fine on one's plate. Let that be done, if at all, before it is brought to the table.

Olives may be placed on the table before the guests arrive, or they may be brought on after the soup is served. They may be taken with a spoon from the dish in which they are served, and eaten with a fork or with the fingers. It is considered equally proper to eat them either way.

Canned tomatoes, corn, etc., are eaten with a spoon usually, although with the growing use of the fork some people now use that.

Pine-apple is cut with the knife and conveyed to the mouth with a fork.

A silver knife is used in eating apples and pears. They are peeled, cut into quarters, and eaten with the fingers usually, but if the fruit is very juicy, like some pears, it is better to use a fork. It is always better to use a fork, even at the peril of seeming affected, than to offend the taste of another by making a mess with the fingers, as some careless people often do. A steel knife is never used in eating fruit because the juice stains the steel, and it gives an unpleasant flavor to the fruit.

Oranges are peeled and separated into their natural sections, although they are sometimes cut instead. They are often pared with a spoon by English people. To eat an orange gracefully requires some practice and skill.

Bananas are peeled and sliced with a knife and eaten with a fork.

EATING EGGS.

Eggs that are boiled in the shell should be placed in an egg cup, the shell broken at one end, and then eaten from the shell.

Break bread with the fingers, in place of cutting it. It can be laid on the table-cloth by the side of the plate.

THE CEREMONIOUS DINNER.

The ceremonious dinner demands much more preparation and care than the simple family gathering. The invitations to such dinners are sent out a week previous. These read thus:

OYSTERS – HOW SERVED.

Raw oysters are served on majolica plates, and placed at each plate before the guests are seated. If they cannot be obtained they can be omitted and the first course may then be soup. Everyone is not fond of soup, but those who are not cannot decline it, but should make a pretense of partaking of it. Those who are fond of it must never ask for a second, supply, and the plate must not be tilted in partaking of it.

REFUSING WINE.

If the host provides wine, and you are disinclined to. drink it, you can refuse it without giving offense.

LADIES LEAVING THE TABLE.

At a sign from the hostess, the ladies all rise from the table, and repairing to the drawing-room, leave the gentlemen to their own devices. But it is a healthy sign that the gentlemen soon follow them. In France the gentlemen and ladies all leave the dinner table together, as indeed they do here, at an informal or family dinner.

Whether an invitation to a dinner is accepted or not, all those invited should make an after-call within a very short time after the entertainment. Sending a card is not a sufficient acknowldgement of an invitation to a dinner.

LADIES' TOILETS.

Ladies' toilets for dinner should be very elegant, while the gentlemen appear in full dress. Gloves are removed at the table, and are not replaced. These formal dinners are always given in the evening.

A GOOD NUMBER AT TABLE.

Ten is a very good number to seat at dinner. Some people foolishly fear the dreaded thirteen. It is a superstition which probably has its rise in the fact that at the Last Supper there were thirteen. Many firmly believe that should this number meet at table, one of the company will die before the expiration of the year – an idea which has no foundation. in fact.

Guests should be prompt, arriving at least ten minutes before the hour set for dining. Fifteen minutes is the limit of time allowed for the hostess to keep the remainder of the guests waiting the arrival of a tardy one.

"All remain standing until the hostess is seated, when they take the seats assigned them. This is usually indicated by a card (the guest card) laid at each place, on which is the name of the guest for whom that seat is designed. Many fanciful designs are often prepared for these cards. They, may be hand-painted, with figures of flowers, landscapes or birds, or have beautiful etchings, or bronze and silver ferns, or have some design in consonance with the giving of the dinners."

WHAT A HOSTESS SHOULD AVOID.

A lady must never lose her self-possession. She should never reprove servants before others. The occasion should be made as pleasant as possible. The hostess should never allow her plate to be removed, until all the guests have finished eating.

THE HOST'S DUTIES.

"The host must be ever on the alert to assist the hostess. He must watch the conversation, suggest new topics when it flags, direct it away from unpleasant topics, draw out the reticent and encourage the shy. He must always aim to bring out others, while he should never shine supreme at his own table. He should possess a knowledge of the world that nothing can surprise, and a calmness and suavity that nothing can ruffle. As far as possible the wants of all should be anticipated."

On leaving, each guest should express the pleasure they have received in as few words as may be.

LUNCHEONS.

Luncheons are such sociable affairs that they are very popular with many ladies who dread the ceremony of a dinner, and yet who desire to entertain their friends. Any meal between the regular ones is called a luncheon, and the invitations may be by card, or even verbally. Colored table-cloths may be pressed into service, and there is a fine opportunity for the display of handsome china.

INVITE AS MANY AS YOU CHOOSE.

Any number of guests can be invited, and if the ladies outnumber the gentlemen, it does not matter. Sometimes there are no gentlemen at all, as these luncheons are day-time affairs, when men are generally engrossed in business.

There is scarcely any formality observed.

WEARING HATS AT TABLE.

Hats and bonnets can be worn at the table by the ladies, and they sit wherever they please. At luncheon the menu card is never used. Guests help themselves, and one another.

BILL OF FARE.

The bill of fare may be varied. Cold meats, tea and coffee, with loaf cake, puddings, ice-cream and tarts are usual, though some have hot meats served.

Music and conversation follow the lunch.

Calls are made after a luncheon the same as after a dinner.

As many ladies may be partial to the luncheon, we quote a bill of fare suited to this meal, as also the invitation:

MRS. MAURICE MYER
Luncheon at 11 o'clock,
May 20th.
Raw oysters on half-shell.
Bouillon.
Vols-au-vent of Sweet-breads,
Lamb-chops, Tomato Sauce.
Chicken Croquettes, French Peon.
Salad of Lettuce.
Neufchatel Cheese, Milk Wafers toasted.
Chocolate Bavarian cream, moulded in small cups, with a spoonful of
Peach Marmalade on each plate.
Vanilla Ice-cream, Fancy Cakes.
Fruit.