Youth's Educator For Home And Society

CHAPTER X.

TRAVELING MANNERS.

THERE is no situation in life a here the innate selfishness of human nature will crop out so unblushingly as in traveling. It is so easy to be just a little rude or selfish, and so natural to flatter oneself that not one of your dear five hundred friends will know it, forgetting that in these days of rapid transit, the doings and sayings of people become common property in a very short space of time; while the little act of selfishness or the generous sacrifice of to-day, in a far-off land, may be flashed across the world ere to-morrow's sun arises.

Would that all could remember this, and when undertaking a journey, whether of long or short duration, take a vast stock of patience and politeness with them, lest the supply fail when most needed.

Travel broadens the mind, and takes us from out our little, narrow sphere into the wide expanse of the. world at large. It preaches many things of value. New scenes, new people, are brought to our very doors, and the interchange of thought gives food for reflection and adds polish and grace to our daily lives.

But the tourist in a foreign land needs to be especially careful in his thoughtlessness, not to offend the peculiar manners and customs of the country which he visits, and not to air his opinions to every stranger. Nearly every one is apt to be less cautious about his behavior abroad than at home. If all could only feel that they are accepted as representatives of their native land, they would guard its good name more tenderly, by acting under all circumstances, as ladies and gentlemen.

There is a marked contrast between the rush and scramble of Americans when traveling and their ease of manner when at home. Why should this be?

American gentlemen are the most chivalrous of men. Early training, the deference accorded women, the influence of good homes, have helped to make them so, and yet to see them as we have, pushing and jostling ladies at the ticket office of a railway station, or the entrance to a theater – or taking all the seats in a car, and allowing ladies to stand, would impress a stranger with a very different idea of that chivalry of which we like to boast.

There must be some demoralizing influence in a railway train, for one continually sees exhibitions of rudeness there.

There is a pleasant side to this, however, and that is found in the fact, that, no matter if the gentlemen are a little rude in their eager quest for a place, a lady who acts with propriety, can journey from one end of our country to the other with safety. Women are held in high esteem, and are certain of protection when they require it.

It is always more desirable to have an escort when traveling, for there are many little anxieties which he can assume, thus making a lady's journey more enjoyable.

The first office of such escort is to either accompany his charge to the depot, or meet her there in ample time to obtain her tickets, check her baggage, and procure a good seat in the car for her.

He looks after her hand baggage, assists her in and out of the car, makes all inquiries about the route, brings her a glass of water when she wishes it, and performs many acts of politeness which readily suggest themselves to a kindly disposed, well-bred gentleman.

After making the lady as comfortable as possible, he makes himself agreeable to her by pointing out the objects of interest from the car window; or if she is disinclined for further conversation, he lets her relapse into thought, or else provides her with reading matter. We do not think however, it is well to read on the cars, owing to the motion, still many make a practice of doing so, without receiving any apparent injury to their sight. It is very discourteous to read, unless the lady is engaged in the same manner.

At the termination of the journey he sees to obtaining a carriage for her, and looks after her baggage. He may accompany her to the home of her friends, or to the hotel which she is to stop at. The next day he calls on her to inquire how she bore the fatigue of her journey. His duties as escort are then ended.

No gentleman should be asked to take care of a lady in traveling unless he is known to her friends as a man in good standing, and worthy of the trust. And no parent or guardian should request a total stranger on whom he has no claims, to take charge of a lady, merely because he happens to be traveling in the same direction.

A lady should not concern herself with any of the details of her trip, when she has an escort. It is presumed that he knows more about traveling than she does, and it will annoy him to be continually asked about the safety of baggage, whether they are on the right train, and numberless other fussy questions that would scarcely be excusable in children.

The lady or her relatives should supply the escort with sufficient money to defray all her expenses. Some prefer to' have the gentleman attend to these matters, and settle the account at the end of the journey, But a strict record of all the items should be kept, in this case. The first method is preferable.

Ladies should not have a myriad of packages for an escort to guard. We have often envied the man who said. that he could put his wardrobe in a collar box – what a world of trouble he saved himself! Some ladies (of course not many) think a Saratoga trunk not large enough to hold all their possessions, but they are burdened with one or two hand sachels, a shawl, various small parcels, a lunch-basket, and finish up with a bird cage! Fancy the feelings of a gentleman who is expected to take charge of a lady with all these, appendages.

When a lady travels alone she should be at the depot early enough to purchase her ticket and to make any inquiries of the ticket agent, respecting the route. She should never permit a stranger to purchase her ticket or check her trunk. There are proper persons for those services.

Be sure to carry more money than you expect to require, but do not display it to strangers. Depots are full of adventurers and sharpers, waiting to "entrap the unwary." We know a gentleman who, when traveling, always divided his money with his wife, she carrying half, and he the other half, his reason being that if he were robbed, or by any. accident they were separated on their journey, neither would be left unprovided for.

Jewelry should not be worn in traveling; and do not consult your watch every few moments.

If you desire any information, apply to the conductor. He is the one best able to give you any directions. At the same time, a lady will not refuse any offer of assistance, such as raising or lowering a window, changing seats, to avoid a draught, calling a carriage, etc. Gentlemen understand perfectly how to offer such services, and will not presume upon their acceptance to force an acquaintance.

A lady may make herself agreeable to her fellow-passengers if the journey be long, without being misconstrued. But an acquaintance begun on a railway train should end there. Very young ladies should be cautious and reserved with young men.

When a coat or valise is left on a seat, it is understood that it has been reserved for the owner, and no lady or gentleman will remove such articles, and take possession of the seat, If the car is full, it is proper to take any seat that is vacant, even by the side of a gentleman, first inquiring if the seat is occupied.

As soon as you are seated, don't throw the window up, thus admitting the soot, and perhaps imperiling the life of another by the cold air. The one who sits behind you will suffer from the draught more than the occupant of the seat by your side.

Gentlemen, don't expectorate tobacco-juice on the floor, for the skirts of the lady who may be sitting near you, to wipe up. Nor shell nuts and peel oranges, making a litter. Would you be guilty of such rudeness in a parlor? A pleasant little incident occurred on a train lately which proved the truth of the value of early training. A little boy of six was in the car with his parents, and was given an orange. He peeled it, and looked anxiously around for a receptacle for the skin. "Oh, throw it under your seat," the father said, carelessly. "But, papa, I mustn't throw things on the floor," he answered. He recognized the fact that the same good manners should be practiced abroad as at home. His father quietly opened the window, and threw out the refuse.

RIGHTS OF ELDERLY LADIES.

Elderly ladies, who are accustomed to traveling, should deem it a privilege to exercise a supervision over younger and more inexperienced ladies, thus throwing a mantle of protection around them, and also relieving their loneliness. Ladies should always be friendly and helpful to each other.

No passenger has a right to occupy two seats with their personal property, unless there is abundance of room; and we feel that anyone is almost justified in taking by force what common politeness on the part of another should freely accord him.

When you lay aside your wraps in the car; resume them before the car has nearly stopped at your station. It is rather undignified to make your toilet and your exit from the car at one and the same time.

DON'T BE SELFISH.

If you are in a sleeping car don't stay in the dressing-room so long that every other lady is debarred from the same privilege, Be as quick as possible, or you will appear very selfish.

CARE FOR YOUR VALUABLES.

Intrust your valuables to the porter for safe-keeping. He usually receives a small fee for the service, but you are not compelled to offer him one. The company employs him for the accommodation of the traveling public.

A gentleman should not leave his coat or handbag in a seat, and then spend his time in the smoking car, while a lady may be standing.

DO NOT JOSTLE.

When you leave the cars at a station for a meal, do not jostle and scramble for the best place, and clamor to be served at once. There is usually time allotted for eating in a self-possessed and gentlemanly way.

If you leave an umbrella or any other article in a car, apply at the office of the company, and they will assist you in tracing it up.

Never leave a train till it has fully stopped. Many serious accidents have been caused by too great haste.

WHO SHALL PAY FARE.

It is laughable to hear two ladies in a street car disputing as to who shall pay the fare. "I'll pay this time." "Now, you shall not – it's my turn." "No, I have the change!" And thus they argue, pocket-books in hand, while the waiting conductor is inwardly wishing them some terrible fate. If your friend offers to pay your fare, consent to her doing so. You will probably have an opportunity to return the favor. If you design paying for both, it is the most polite way to have the exact change ready, and pass it to the conductor without any reference to it.

TAKE TIME TO LEAVE THE CAR.

When the train has reached its destination, do not rush wildly out, pushing your fellow passengers out of the way. It is both selfish and ill-bred. Be prompt to assist a young child or an aged person from the car.

TRAVELING IN THE NIGHT.

A lady should try and arrange her trip, when without an escort, so that she will not be compelled to change cars in the night. If she has to do so, she must, place herself under the care of the conductor, or some married couple, until the transfer is made. The reasons are obvious. There are always "wolves in sheep's clothing," who would direct her wrong, particularly in large cities.

If she arrives in the place where, she is to stop at night, and her friends have failed to meet her, or may not know she is coming on that .train, she had better not take a hack. Choose rather a 'bus or street-car, where there are plenty of people.

PRESENCE OF MIND.

Always maintain your presence of mind under all circumstances. Do not become excited at any emergency, but keep your wits about you. There are always good people who will advise and assist you.

If these simple rules are observed, any lady may take a journey unattended, "without an unpleasant incident. A quiet, lady-like manner will command respect. Occasionally a rough, impertinent fellow may be encountered, who will annoy a lady, but if her dignified reserve does not check his advances, she will always find defenders who will teach him his place.

STEAMER ACQUAINTANCES.

On a steamer where people are thrown together for days, many pleasant acquaintances spring into existence, and some warm friendships which have stood the test of time have been formed.

But even here where much freedom is allowed, it is conceded that a certain degree of reserve should obtain on the part of a lady, and that no familiarity should be permitted; also that an acquaintance formed here need not proceed any further than the place which gave it countenance.

Good-breeding forbids that you monopolize the steamer piano or do all the talking in the ladies' cabin.

Pay some regard to the comfort of those who retire earlier than you care to. Boisterous laughter and loud talking are contrary to that politeness which springs from a kind heart.

EATING HASTILY.

At the table do not eat hastily and greedily. It is not only ill-mannered, but it is not a healthy practice. Time is ample here, and you have not the excuse of a hastily-eaten meal at a railway station. Besides, the hundred or more pairs of eyes that are observing you, will comment unfavorably,

Never allude to sea-sickness at the table. Most every one is squeamish on the water, and any allusion of this sort is in bad taste.

Remember here, as elsewhere, to avoid giving offense, and regard the rights of all.